to build
you need

-you always came first


I needed to write this

Love wasn’t enough to save you.


This world exploded faster than a trigger,

my mind becoming paralyzed, desensitized,

attempting to wrap itself around the culprits of our demise.


You were only sixteen.


Sixteen candles illuminating a bright future that will never know

the sound of your voice or the love in your heart.


Sixteen brilliant ideas capable of changing the world,

that now lie lifeless on the ground,

destroyed before they saw the daybreak of a better tomorrow.


Sixteen nails hammering themselves through

broken hopes, dreams, and possibilities,

into a dark, hard place not invited by will.


Why does our world look like this?


Why instead of love we preach hate,

instead of building trust we build walls,

swallowing pills instead of mistakes,

digging graves instead of deeper into ourselves,

instead of loyalty we





Why are we so broken

and continue to stay broken

breaking our children over our own pride,

teaching them to break each other more every day

teaching them that words don’t matter,

actions don’t matter,

human life doesn’t matter.


You matter.


Your ideas matter.

Your soul matters.

Your song matters,

and until we learn to sing together or we will stay singing hymns

that come too soon,

praying for the day love will save us too.


I don’t know why I did it.

I am so sorry.

Why do these words pervase the human race?

Stop stringing words together like

you don’t really know the reason why

hurt people hurt people.

How can you claim love

when you still have one hand

deep in the pages of someone else’s book of poetry?

Love fast love hard they say,

but what about loving without fully closing our previous book?

We always forget how strong gusts of wind are

and you had loose pages you couldn’t hide anymore.


You know a love like this isn’t easy.

In fact it’s impossible,

but that’s what this is it’s two impossible people crashing and burning yet

welcoming the destruction of themselves with open arms.

They’ve never felt more alive,

more vulnerable,

more in touch with the world,

in touch with each other.

And even though all she wants to do is run the other direction,

she is swallowing her pride like she swallows fear,

she looks in the mirror and says this is who I am.

I am nowhere near perfection but I am trying and I will continue to try because






Instead of letting her flaws burn down the sunshine and smiles she will let him in.

You are right there beside me as we build this person I want to become, together.

Brick by brick, your hand interlocked with mine, together.

We are building myself together.