ignorance

one day
i hope you
wake up only
to right your wrongs
own both sets of bruises,
the ones you have and the ones you’ve made
until then,
don’t confuse kindness with entitlement.

you never deserved me in the first place.

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Ready

Against my better judgement,
I am ready
to share myself
with you.

I am ready to crack
this idea of perfection
with 24 years
of hammers.

I am ready
to communicate,
to learn to love,
to be honest with myself.

To trust,
to put faith
in a world
I know
remains broken.

To shed my skin,
free myself of the stained remains
of who I tried to be.

I am ready to be who I am.

feelings

I wasn’t raised to feel,
I was raised to think.
To bottle,
to blame,
to fake perfection at the expense
of my self-worth,
my confidence.
Any signs of cracks
were shamed.
I don’t know how to navigate
a mess of a world that thrives
on passive-agression.

-my mother’s answer to problems is therapy

Love less think more

At what point do you say stop;

No.

Enough is enough.

This love is too rough.

I surrendered my translucent lights

to a second chance at life.

 

A pure, unequivocal love

was what you deserved.

When I placed my self-preservation

beneath your restoration,

used my gentle hands to heal

a heart broken two-fold too many times,

you forgot how to love right.

 

Forgot how to break apart selfishness, vindictiveness, forgiveness,

I will never un-love your brokenness.

Why do you continue to make me this mess

of love, hate, fire, slate.

 

Packaged away, compartmentalized,

desensitized,

I will never un-love your hate;

or the loss of a fate,

stained with mistrust and mistakes.

 

I will never un-love the break

of glass spreading pieces of our faith

across my living room floor.

 

I will never un-love your face,

or your haste in jumping to conclusions,

jumping to judgments just because

your mind has no time to waste.

 

I will never un-love this place,

that once was a home now it’s just

traces of your past;

my future,

mixed in together,

left behind to waste,

because your pride

was bigger than our love.

 

Make no mistakes.