-you always came first
-you always came first
and I will
-eyes, teeth, heart, soul, hands
behave the same
as you do
At what point do you say stop;
Enough is enough.
This love is too rough.
I surrendered my translucent lights
to a second chance at life.
A pure, unequivocal love
was what you deserved.
When I placed my self-preservation
beneath your restoration,
used my gentle hands to heal
a heart broken two-fold too many times,
you forgot how to love right.
Forgot how to break apart selfishness, vindictiveness, forgiveness,
I will never un-love your brokenness.
Why do you continue to make me this mess
of love, hate, fire, slate.
Packaged away, compartmentalized,
I will never un-love your hate;
or the loss of a fate,
stained with mistrust and mistakes.
I will never un-love the break
of glass spreading pieces of our faith
across my living room floor.
I will never un-love your face,
or your haste in jumping to conclusions,
jumping to judgments just because
your mind has no time to waste.
I will never un-love this place,
that once was a home now it’s just
traces of your past;
mixed in together,
left behind to waste,
because your pride
was bigger than our love.
Make no mistakes.
You bled into my life relentlessly.
Love wasn’t enough to save you.
This world exploded faster than a trigger,
my mind becoming paralyzed, desensitized,
attempting to wrap itself around the culprits of our demise.
You were only sixteen.
Sixteen candles illuminating a bright future that will never know
the sound of your voice or the love in your heart.
Sixteen brilliant ideas capable of changing the world,
that now lie lifeless on the ground,
destroyed before they saw the daybreak of a better tomorrow.
Sixteen nails hammering themselves through
broken hopes, dreams, and possibilities,
into a dark, hard place not invited by will.
Why does our world look like this?
Why instead of love we preach hate,
instead of building trust we build walls,
swallowing pills instead of mistakes,
digging graves instead of deeper into ourselves,
instead of loyalty we
Why are we so broken
and continue to stay broken
breaking our children over our own pride,
teaching them to break each other more every day
teaching them that words don’t matter,
actions don’t matter,
human life doesn’t matter.
Your ideas matter.
Your soul matters.
Your song matters,
and until we learn to sing together or we will stay singing hymns
that come too soon,
praying for the day love will save us too.
Ten times more.
Give me back ten times more.
Ten times the love. Ten times the patience.
Ten times multiplied by two,
added back into itself
how am I so in love with you.
Fold me into your life like I was always meant to be there,
blur the lines between reality and nirvana.
All I want to do is wake up next to your beauty,
Love you, everyday.
Love you as you continue to press
on all the knots in my back,
acquired from a lifetime of skepticism;
from people not treating me right,
not loving me right.
Fold me into your heart as we navigate the mess of life
How is it that someone so small
can move my entire world
with a singular touch?
Pressing on the heart strings of my vulnerability,
bending the reality of how I hold myself together.
Maybe the reason you never saw anything coming
is because you never took the time to look.
just like pizzle pieces
your love filled up all the missing space
activating a piece of my mind
that has been dormant for years.